POOL-HALL CHRISTIANITY
(Quotes From Our Dizzy Culture - Pt. 1)
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"It's time to bring God back in the bed and put the bed back in the church.”
- Preacher in bed with wife on church roof
http://www.christianpost.com/news/pastor-wife-to-spend-24-hours-in-bed-on-church-roof-to-teach-sex-lessons-66640/
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“... when you come to church... that’s what makes God happy.”
- Mrs. Joel (Victoria) Osteen
speaking at Lakewood Church
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjWertXdxFE
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“... we ask forgiveness of the All-Merciful One, and of the Muslim community around the world.”
– Rick Warren, signatory of the
Yale Covenant For Islam and Christian Unity
http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/blog/?p=1366
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“God said, ‘I wanted to see what I looked like, so I made you... You have my DNA.’ ”
- Celebrity Pastor, T.D. Jakes
Video)
http://apprising.org/2012/12/28/joyce-meyer-and-t-d-jakes-teaching-word-faith-little-gods-doctrine/
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“Interactions with other animals will teach us how we might interact with an alien from another world... I can hardly wait."
- MIT professor
http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/afp/130301/peter-gabriel-wants-talk-animals-online
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"No, that is not what we're here for, she is not going to cover up. She's going to wear what she wants to wear in the name of Jesus."
- Devon Franklin, preacher,
defending wife Meagan
http://www.charismanews.com/culture/55298-when-does-cleavage-in-church-become-sinful
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“Joan of Arc was Noah's wife.” “Sodom and Gomorrah lived happily ever after."
- Random interviews of Americans (ABC News)
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/hollywood-couple-created-bible-mini-series-set-record/story?id=18610211
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"Bequeath your tattoo [after you die]... so that your loved ones can experience your legacy."
- 'Preservation of Skin Art' promotional video
http://www.cbc.ca/news/business/tattoos-are-forever-now-you-can-preserve-them-after-you-die-1.3268803
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“Just had my date with Jesus. He came to the movie theater with me to watch the movie Dolphin Tale in 3D. At least he never stands me up or breaks his commitments / promises to me.”
- Facebook post
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“God is not for us... he’s a white racist... carrying a gun and stalking young black men.”
- Anthea Butler, Associate Professor,
University of Pennsylvania
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/07/16/upenn-professor-goes-on-blog-rant-over-zimmerman-verdict-claims-god-is-white/#ixzz2ZJAgM5rC
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“God must be a Buckeye”
- Local Facebook post after
Ohio State wins NCAA Championship
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“I've breastfed in the hairdresser's, supermarket and church...”
- Mother still breastfeeding 5-year-old
http://www.fox17.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/breestfeeding-mom-still-feeds-daughter-age-5-20981.shtml
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“… you’re not looking at Morris Cerillo, you’re looking at God, you’re looking at Jesus.”
- Morris Cerillo, The Inspiration Network
(Video)
http://apprising.org/2012/12/28/joyce-meyer-and-t-d-jakes-teaching-word-faith-little-gods-doctrine/
“We are all the descendants of the Most High Triune God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob Lord Jesus. The blood and water poured down to the earth from Lord Jesus Flesh during the crucifixion has changed the world and made even a single cell life form to born a descendent of Lord Jesus. A Human Sperm Cell and Egg Cell therefore are both descendants of Lord Jesus. We are all born Descendants of Lord Jesus.”
“Now, on December 21, 2012: There will be a Phenomenal DNA Change that will happen to all mankind. This will erase our traces from our ancestors including our being descendants of the Most High.” “Have a DNA Test before December 21, 2012 to keep it to yourself as a Souvenir that once happened in your lifetime, you were a descendent of the Most High.”
“Share this post with your friends to inform them.”
- Facebook post
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"In these last days God hath spoken to us by his son Ignatius (founder of Jesuits), whom he hast appointed Heir of all thing, by whom also he made the world.”
F. Doza J.S.
"The Firey Jesuits," p, 66
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“She and I have been together for a very long time, not just here. No question in my mind about that. We were together in Egypt. I wrote about it in a book called, ‘Out On A Leash.’”
- Shirley MacLaine talking
about her deseased pet dog
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2013/12/11/shirley-maclaine-believes-her-dog-came-back-to-life/?intcmp=features
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“Please help pray specifically for me that God will do another miracle to provide a new car (I’ve sown seeds so I’m wanting to see my harvest in the natural now)... I’ve been wanting to move to a new apartment or if I get married then to a new house... I need Prayer warriors to help intercede
for me.”
- Facebook post
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“Do you know something? The minute that blood sacrifice was accepted Jesus was the first human being that was ever born again. Now that was real it happened when he was in hell.”
- Mega-Pastor Joyce Meyer
http://craigbrownsreformedtheology.wordpress.com/2011/09/21/word-of-faith-false-teacher-joyce-meyer’s-shocking-doctrine-and-heresy/
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People of faith “should so change the planet that when our first visitors from Mars arrive they will find a society fit to be called the Kingdom of God.”
- Bishop G. Bromley Oxnam, at Fifth
World Order Study Conference, 1958
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“We are all Catholics now.”
- Glenn Beck, 2012
http://www.catholicvote.org/glenn-beck-we-are-all-catholics-now/
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“As a Protestant, every time you talk—every time I see you, I see Jesus.”
- Celebrity Preacher James
Robinson, to Catholic Priest
(Video)
http://apprising.org/2011/12/18/james-robison-and-rick-warren-working-to-reverse-the-protestant-reformation/
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"He [Jesus] became one with the nature of Satan, so all those who had the nature of Satan can partake of the nature of God.”
- Super-Televangelist Benny Hinn
http://www.watchman.org/profiles/benny-hinn/
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"God could do nothing on earth, nothing has God ever done on earth without a human giving
Him access."
- Myles Munroe, Benny Hinn Show (2004)
(Video clip)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl_NJ_RQY80
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“... science is the essence of our existence.” “Science means everything to me.”
- American High School student
http://apologeticspress.org/apPubPage.aspx?pub=1&issue=1139&article=2211
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"Stop talking about the cheating... he's a man."
- Pat Robertson counseling
woman on cheating husband
(Video)
http://gawker.com/pat-robertson-to-woman-with-cheating-husband-get-over-506918884
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“Faith was the raw material substance that the Spirit of God used to form the universe.”
- TV Celebrity Kenneth Copeland
http://www.cprf.co.uk/articles/copeland.htm
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"Evidence is building that Earth life originated on Mars and was brought to this planet
aboard a meteorite."
- Scientist speaking at geochemistry conference
http://www.space.com/22577-earth-life-from-mars-theory.html
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“God smiles when you be you… when you do what you were made to do, God goes:
‘That’s my boy.’”
- "America’s Pastor," Rick Warren
Credit: STEVE JURVETSON
http://apprising.org/2013/02/12/rick-warren-on-oprahs-lifeclass-again-february-24th/
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"Trump wins. America wins. God wins. Thank you Father for hearing our cry."
- Facebook post, after 2016 election
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“... if the far left can marginalize Santa and the Easter bunny... they then set the stage for a totally secular society in the future.”
- Fox News host, Bill O’Reilly
O’Reillyhttp://thinkprogress.org/media/2013/03/22/1760681/oreilly-easter-bunny/
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“My mission as a model... to help MINISTER as well as model! It’s not all about me!!!!! I’m there for the people! I’m there to help, to encourage, to befriend, to love, and to pray for everyone involved in the show/job. Jesus loves you!”
- Facebook post
“That is so cool. It’s neat that God chose to place you where He needs you.”
- Comments section
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“Even when your faith is small... He doesn’t cancel His plan for your life. He doesn’t disqualify you and say, ‘Too bad, you need to be a believer.’ No, that’s when the faith of God kicks in.”
- Joel Osteen, Facebook post
https://m.facebook.com/JoelOsteen/posts/10153190836570227?fref=nf
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“Jesus Christ is our ni_ _a - let his light shine through ya. Let his love pop a cap in your butt
and say hallelujah.”
- Church of Christ Preacher,
‘Rappin For Jesus’ video
(Video)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2278861/Rapping-pastor-proclaims-Jesus-Christ-n--hilariously-bad-video--it-seems.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
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“And I believe that because I’m a Catholic, that comes from the Holy Spirit; my inspiration [for his new book, ‘Killing Jesus’] comes from that.’
- Bill O’Reilly, CBS Interview
(Video)
http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=50155900n
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“In 1996 God spoke through me about an attack in the USA. I saw an act of violence as terrorists flew over New York. Since then, the years to follow would provoke numerous prophecies regarding a war and the fact that God would raise up a President who would be a true Christian and who would pray. On April 1st, 2001, I said, ‘America prepare yourself, you will go to war.’ I spoke about certain attacks planned against the soldiers and the fact that God would protect them so that not one of them would be inflicted. I believe with all of my heart that America is in the perfect will
of God.”
- Prophecy by Christian musician Tim Clement
(to date, over 50,000 U.S. soldiers have been killed In Iraq and Afghanistan)
http://www.elijahlist.com/words/display_word/1433
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“Can you put my puppy on your church prayer list?”
- Neighborhood acquaintance
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I trust the present [Bush] Administration... He is a believer like I am, in Christ; and so are many others in top positions... we know we can believe them.
- E-mail to talk-show host
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“How can Christians and Muslims... find the straight path to God?”
- Saddleback Pastor,
Abraham Meulenberg
(Video)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bu3Lnaj7M_k
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“Today, _ _ _ _ _ _ left us here on earth to go raise hell in Heaven.”
- Facebook post after funeral
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“Hey guys im goin on october first to get tatted up. im fifteen and wanna get a bible verse on my back or my chest cause my faith isn’t changing. any suggestions on verses? and btv if ur gunna trol and quote leviticus get the f_ _k out and live in the dark ages. ive heard all the s_ _t before im still getting a tat and if it does er up being a sin than ill pay for it like all my other innumerous
ones idgaf.”
- Facebook post
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“Romney will win the election [2012] and serve a second term.”
- Prophesy by Pat Robertson
(Video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6xBo9EijIQ
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“Rest well. You have so many angels guarding your soul tonight."
- Mindy McCready's Eulogy
(McCready committed suicide after a life of drugs, alcohol, adultery and pornography)
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=173664641
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mindy_McCready#Personal_life
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“I am a happy Christian gay man. I am in a loving committed relationship with my partner... I love God and I love life... I serve as an Elder in my Presbyterian church.”
- Michael Bussee, co-founder of
Exodus International (Christian)
http://www.beyondexgay.com/article/busseeapology
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“[In] the 1,000-year millennium, Jesus will reign from two places, Jerusalem and Missouri...”
- Mitt Romney,
2012 Presidential Candidate
(Video)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=TxMD02zU9SE
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“... in front of me is God the Father... there’s a table in front of Him; and He reaches into His heart and rips this chunk off His heart... And it’s suddenly, like... Play-Doh. And He starts molding it and shaping it, and I’m like, ‘Jesus, what is He... making?’ And all of the sudden I see... me... I’m on
the table.”
- Female Pastor & Worship Leader, Kim Smith,
Her testimony at “Encounter with God‘
(Video)
http://apprising.org/2013/01/24/jesus-cultures-kim-walker-smiths-alleged-encounter-with-god-the-father-
and-jesus-christ/
“What I say unto you, I say unto all... Watch!” - Jesus (Mark 13:37)